Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
