just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
