Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize