Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
