Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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