My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
