I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
