I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
