There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
