I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You have to summon your inner elephant
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
