Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
