That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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