hotel room ftw
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You work out of a Hotel?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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