My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
