Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
