two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
