The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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