the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
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It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
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Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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