shes about as inviting as chlamydia
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
