Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
