Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
