We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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