question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We need to rekindle our bromance
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
