he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
