I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
