No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
