problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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