But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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