Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
