So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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