I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
