You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
