never play flip cup with pint glasses
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
