Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
