tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
