I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
birth control should be required to get into college
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
