their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
