It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
