Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
