So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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