these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
