I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
