i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize