So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
