Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
