i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Are we in a gay sports bar?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Randomize
