somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
