I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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