did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize