The maid of honor just puked.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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