Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize