shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
