dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
