Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My vagina just clenched in fear
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
