I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
