how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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