i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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