your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
