ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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