They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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