does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
