so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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