I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
