If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize