Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We had to coat check the pizza.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
