Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
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